Right now is a transition phase in my life. I'm finishing up my last semester of college and I'm on the hunt for a job. It is not a cake walk, it's been absolutely miserable.
The past semester has been one of the best and one of the worst. I'm accomplishing something that once seemed so far away...I'll be gaining my Bachelor of Arts in Elementary Education on May 11th and it's a surreal moment. I'm scared and excited, but I know that something wonderful is going to come from all of it. Honestly though, I'm scared.
I bet you're wondering...Why? How could you be scared if you know that God is going to take care of it all???? Well....let me explain:
Being the flawed human that I am, it's hard for me to relinquish control of my life. So, of course, I stress, I worry, and I doubt over whether the places I've applied will accept my application and whether or not I'm really qualified and ready to be in the classroom as the head teacher. I'm human and I'm scared. You can't say you haven't been in that place of wonder and doubt before.
It's been hitting extremely hard the past couple of months because people are starting to hire. I've done my duty and I've applied for placements (total of 8 right now) and now all I can do is wait. It's hard, I've seen friends get interviews and actual job offers and I'm so happy for them, it's just hard seeing them moving forward while I feel like I'm standing still.
There have been countless days/nights of crying and doubt, but it's taken me a while, some long night conversations, and more crying for me to finally come to that point where I'm finally giving God full control over the situation.
Takes me a while to give up control because I'm a control freak and I'm stubborn - it's sad, I know, I'm working on it though!
I know that by relinquishing control over this situation and letting Him do His work, I'll be more blessed than if I tried to do it all myself. I know that He will open the position He wants me in when He wants me to have it. I know that He will provide my every need and I lean on that understanding and I know that He won't leave me and He'll guide me through every step, as long as I let Him.
Are you struggling with any transitional stages? Relinquishing control and letting Him take the reigns? I understand, I'm working on that right now. You're not alone.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
No comments:
Post a Comment